Gap

Basically I purchased a boatload of clothes for the family at the Gap. Using 40 percent coupons online and accumulated Gap cash. It's just easy there. They have slim fit clothes, reviews, and it's not preppy. Both boys needed new pants, pronto. A couple of long sleeve t-shirts and a sweater for Jake. Bought a shirt and sweater for hubby, too, while I was at it. He doesn't have much and now he has clothes to keep track of in both places. When does he have time to do laundry over there?

He is up at 6:15 in Bethesda, stops at a bagel place on his way to the office early for 8am meetings and then works until 8:30PM. No time for calls, emails or texts. He doesn't read any of mine. At all, to my astonishment. He has asked for people to call him instead. He is otherwise swamped with 1000 work emails a day he can't get to, and a designated assistant (Aliza, I think her name is) who sits outside of his office taking his calls, managing his schedule and the like. Everyday there are important things to prepare for. He had a one on one meeting with the CEO of his company, today. The day before that, he ran a class on excel at lunch for 25 people on his team and anyone who wanted to sign up. His assistant brings him lunch, everyday, because he has no time to get it himself. He told me he doesn't have even enough time to go to the bathroom when he needs. At night we face time at 10:30PM and he tells me when his head hits the pillow he doesn't stir until his alarm goes off at 6:15. He is exhausted.

Will this craziness pass? Or is this the pace of his job? I can't imagine.

On the other hand, life is changed here, too. I always made dinner and was around. But now I have to make the fires and keep them going. When Belac's arm is hurting, it's up to me and only me to decide whether or not to take him to the doctor, or to give him 3 junior ibuprofen before bed. I miss his help with the dishes or walking the dog or taking out the garbage and recycling, helping with the kids and managing the ups and downs, picking up groceries on his way home, the stories over breakfast... The being able to call him to come get me when my flip flop broke a mile away from the house and I was walking the dog. I would have called him to get me but wanted to save such a call to friends for something I really need... The year is young, after all.

Everyday that passes, I marvel and am relieved that the kids are alive and seem well enough, clothed, fed and clean and getting their work done. I see how much they rely on me and need me. And when we fight or there is some pressing dilemma, they are turning to me and there is no one else to ultimately help resolve whatever it is.

I have a new found understanding and sympathy for what it is to be a single parent. And yet I am not really because I get along with the boys' father who is also providing us a secure lifestyle, and we are not fighting. We talk every morning and night about stuff and he he is home 3-4 nights a week. Still, it can be hard....

I ate pizza with the kids tonight. It was bread and cheese. After teaching there was no cooking to be done. I will get on that treadmill a little before bed. Gotta get in shape and keep in shape. I want hubby to always remember: there is steak at home.