taking control

Listening to hubby play the piano while lounging on the couch and sipping water. Just a little earlier, I felt the urge - as I was sitting down to fix some things on my website - to have a sip of wine. And as I emerged from the basement with laundry, hubby emerged from his office after a few hours of work. He was drinking a glass of milk with a piece of Michigan fudge he was sharing with Belac. It's hard, he told me, now is the time when I'd love a sip of scotch. We laughed and looked at each other knowingly. It's habitual and there are certain triggers for wanting a drink. So now he's playing Liszt with the lid fully up, I'm sitting across with my laptop and listening.It's almost time for bed, it will pass.

2 weeks til his first tri, 3 more weeks after that is his second tri. Can I keep this up for 6 weeks, I wonder? I guess we will see, one day at a time. Most of the time I am just amused by this challenge and how I find I am out to prove something to myself and am increasingly aware of the social pressures of drinking.

We have all of these beautiful bottles of wine in our pantry that have gone untouched since returning home from our trip. We've been discussing what will happen this Friday when our friends come to dinner. They are big wine drinkers, have a wine cellar, and we always drank 2-3 bottles between the 4 of us with chunks of cheese before us. Always have. So this will be weird. Of course we have to open a bottle of wine when they come. And then what? We don't drink? I certainly won't, leaving hubby to at least take a glass but even his drinking just a glass would be hard for them to digest. And the other weird thing? Yesterday at Olivia's when they started with some cheese, my stomach immediately felt upset. I am not a big dairy person but never had a problem with cheese and crackers. It dawned on me that I never ate cheese and crackers without washing it all down with wine, and maybe that's what helped me break down the milk in the past? So now I will also lay out some cheese and I won't touch that either? It's new territory. I want our friends to have a good time even if I'm not partaking along with them....

Hubby is encouraging me to run again. Ugh. Crazy that I lost so much weight in a week by just watching what I put in my body. I'm trying to listen to it. When the kids are back in school I intend to go the gym regularly again.