getting there

Oy. Jake's math teacher. Maybe he's okay as a teacher, but personally I think he's a putz. He just doesn't get it. He goes on and on. I had to keep interjecting and boiling it down for Jake. I had to keep saying to the teacher, okay if he doesn't focus well, but let's focus on what he CAN do to compensate. This was not the meeting I envisioned where there would be more input from Jake. He should not be sitting here so iron-faced. This was going down more like a lecture and that he was in trouble.

On my way out, I spoke to Jake quietly. Look, I can see how he is intimidating and totally unapproachable, but he gave you good observations. Let's focus on that. Write everything down! Get everything in. If you miss something in class, find yourself confused or forget a homework assignment, and that happens to the best of us, you go right to him at activity period and get it done before you come home or at least start your homework there. Okay, he nodded. You're smart, you can do this and  figure it out, do not shy away from this! Put in the effort.  Look what happened when you faced up to all that overwhelming bar mitzvah stuff. Remember what a mess you once were? Once you faced up to it and painstakingly suffered over getting it all in shape, look what happened. You know it all cold! And it's beautiful!!! Thanks, mom, he told me quietly in the bustling hallway, as I just looked at him knowingly, smiled and made an almost undetectable air kiss his way.

Earlier, as we were waiting to meet the teacher, I saw him looking at the 7th grade honor roll hanging in the hall. On the one hand, I felt bad for him. Honor roll probably felt a million miles away. On the other hand, I know it's important to not shield him. It's a fact. There is an honor roll and if he wants to be on it, he has to work for it. There was even a list of High Honors kids. I wonder what you have to do to get on that list, I remarked. I have no idea, Jake told me.

Now at home, I feel bad about not asking at the meeting. What do you need from Mr. Math Teacher? What do you need from me? Though he's young and probably doesn't even know, much less how to ask.

Over break I heard a piece on NPR about writing your own narrative and figuring things out. I thought about this blog and realized what I've essentially been doing here. I've put Jake to task. 15 minutes a day, for 4 days, he should write about his goals. What they are, how he plans to reach them, why he wants them, what's not going right, what to do, how he feels when things do go well.... if it is successful, it will morph into other subjects but for now, just 4 days on the subject and for his eyes only. He needs to know himself in a way I believe writing will help him and I just know he can figure it out if he puts his mind to it.

Pushing him to put his mind to it.