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Sat down and watched Belac's movie. It was so interesting for what it inadvertently showed. Belac was among 4 other boys in his grade, that day, and he gave each kid turns wearing the Go Pro helmet as they each raced up and down the blocked off street. You could see what was going on from each kid's perspective. Also, they conducted interviews in between the rounds to discuss how they felt or what happened.

I noticed one kid really had a problem on his bike and kept almost running people over. At one point, a parent - not his -  stopped him and impatiently laid in on him saying, look, you really have to not run into people, ok?! Wow, that's so unbelievably unhelpful! was all I could think. Maybe the parent could have suggested riding on the edge of the street next to grass and not straight down the middle. Maybe he could have moved the turn around point farther from the food table. Or if it was so bad, just take the bike away and ask that it be a running or scooter race. No use telling a kid he's doing something wrong and embarrassing him in front of everyone, at least give the kid some alternatives of what he CAN do.

In any case, the boy was eliminated from the 1st round of this "Go Pro Tournament." (Every round eliminated a contestant until there was a winner.) I don't know what happened, but this boy is no longer seen in the rest of the movie. Not even in the 'interview' section after first round. Did he stomp off...? It was also apparent that Belac could not follow the banter between the contestants left, which included him. For the purpose of the camera, the 2 boys said they felt the kid did not deserve to be disqualified, but their whispering and eyes between them betrayed their words. Belac missed that content all together and when he inquired about it, the boys looked at each other and said, never mind, Belac, it's okay. They clearly knew it was going to take too much explaining for Belac to understand. When asked how he felt about winning this round and how he felt he'd race next, Belac answered. Well, good. But I'm the smallest kid in my grade so I'm pretty nervous....

So the point I'm getting to is this. Two of the 5 boys who didn't have parents at the party, are also kids I have seen all over town, the neighborhood and school by themselves. I have no idea what their parents look like, as I've just never seen them with their kids. All kids are imperfect and need help in one way or another, and these 2 boys are no exception. One of the boys is obese and looks always unkempt and in need of a shower, but is seriously the sweetest, smartest kid. Whatever is going on at home, I am certain his outlook and demeanor will pull him through. The uncoordinated one, the one who is always in trouble, clearly means well but doesn't seem to have anyone on his side, helping others see that perspective. He's viewed mostly as a pain in everyone's ass.

I know there are very good reasons why you can't always be with your kid. I know that sometimes when you hover, it can make things worse because there are things a kid just has to figure out themselves. I also know that a lot of people are not as lucky as me to be able to be with my kids. But I just feel the need to say this. As a parent, you need to show up now and again. MUST. You have to mingle and make nice with the other families. Come out and say a few hellos to your neighbors at your block party. Especially if you have a kid that has trouble fitting in. Even be a little forthcoming about what's going on. You know why? Because they are the ones that are talking about your kids behind your back. They are the ones that are dealing with your child's behavior when you aren't around. They see things when you aren't there. You want these people being kind to your kid and looking out for them. You want to know that someone will approach you if there is a problem. I know you might be depressed or overwhelmed or embarrassed or antisocial, but still, you are a parent.

And in case anyone doesn't remember, I'm not being smug. I've totally been there. I showed up to school bringing and picking up Belac every day after he ran away from school, saying hello and being nice to everyone whether they knew or not. We'd walk past the throngs of seemingly happy children and parents waiting for the bell outside, and I'd hand him off to the aide inside and remind myself - everyday - that he was learning and would continue to learn and that we were doing everything we could despite what others might think. I stayed at so many drop off birthday parties and was often the only parent doing so because I often needed to step in and shadow my kid in order for him to participate or behave properly. It's hard to be different and maintain your pride sometimes. But painful as it might be, you have to summon up the courage for the sake of your kid. You just have to.