wip

My Amazon order arrived, yesterday. I had all the parts spread out on the yard trying to figure out how it was supposed to fit together when I heard Jake ask, what are you doing? The badminton net had arrived. Without all the trees with shedding limbs out back, we now had the perfect little green patch for badminton. He put down his pack and came to help. The instructions were written terribly, the net kept falling down, but together, Jake and I finally came up with a solution. 20 minutes later, Jake and I were volleying the birdies between us. Had we EVER started our afternoon together doing something fun and different like this? It was an hour later when it began to rain, and only then did we finally head in and start talking about homework.

Again, he forgot to bring his homework home. Ugh. Jake! Why do you do this to yourself? Did you forget the 45 minutes you spent, yesterday, going back to school, finding a janitor to let you in, and walking home in the rain? This is exactly where we've been all year with this. 2-3 times a week this is happening and the year will be done in 2 weeks....

Later, right before bed, Jake felt like a snack and we were at the kitchen table....  Do you think it's better for me to be tough with you or more supportive with you? I asked. Tears began rolling down his face. Tough, so I will do the right thing. But the thing is, he was now sobbing, I know if you're too tough then I have a chance not to believe in myself.... So do you think I should be more tough or more supportive? Silence. I really want to know, Jake. I feel like something isn't working and you need to help me help you. You're 50-50, he replied as he continued to weep.

Eat your pizza, sweetie, I nudged him after awhile.

I'm not hungry anymore...

Don't be ridiculous, Jake, eat. I waited for him to take a bite.

You know the company I hired to weed our lawn? Jake nodded. That owner was the only person who always returned my phone calls and showed up when he said he would, and that's why I hired him. Because I could depend on him. Jake nodded. And you want to know something else? He may or may not have a college degree, but guess what? He lives in a house with 8 acres and sent 3 kids to college. He bought a house in Florida. It's not what you'd exactly expect from someone who makes a living taking care of lawns, but he runs a very good company. He's nice, he's fair and dependable. He is very organized and cuts 60 lawns a day, 6 days a week! Some of his customers and employees have been with him 17 years. That's amazing, you know?

He nodded as he kept eating.

You know what else? I continued. The other day I overheard Pops make a comment to dad. You know what he said? Jake shook his head. Pops said he was pretty surprised that dad had figured things out the way he has. In other words, Pops was not exactly convinced before that dad would end up doing so well. And you know what that tells me? Jake was now fully listening and not eating. It tells me that dad had things to work on and that his parents were worried about him. It tells me that things were not exactly easy or always smooth sailing for dad. You know how everyone laughs that dad almost repeated Kindergarten? And in school he drove his teachers crazy for always having his head in the clouds and not doing his work? I think it probably wasn't very funny at the time and we only laugh now because dad has come so far.

I was a misfit, I now heard hubby agree from behind me before sitting down. I had to work really hard and hard at things that came easily to a lot of other people. 

My point is, Jake, we are going to help you figure things out, but you now need to be part of these decisions, too, because you know yourself the best. When we talk about your challenges it's not what you call 'rubbing it in,' it's about understanding the problem so we can fix it. That's how things get better, facing up to the challenges. Dad had to do it and keeps doing it, and you can definitely do it, too.

This morning, Jake came running home just after leaving. Mom! I have 5 minutes until class and I'm not going to make it on time! Can you please drive me?

Of course I can! That's my boy!