Looking for Golden

Belac 5/10

The listing on the place we are renting has gone up on MLS. Showings have begun and it has forced me to give this home a good clean up. In doing so, I started noticing the extent of what has accumulated all over the walls these past 12 months.

There are the signs. WOMEN'S RESTROOM with a stick figure in a skirt on the bathroom door, with the afterthought AND MEN'S  and an androgynous stick figure squeezed into the corner of the scrap. NO DRINKING OR EATING IN MY ROOM on one of Belac's walls. There's OUT with an arrow near our front door. "Why does your window have a sign that says window?" someone asked recently. "Because it's a window!" was all I could think to say.

More overwhelming, though, are the drawings. He loves to draw. At school, Belac earns 'free draw' at the end of the day if he behaves properly in school. It is a highly motivating incentive for him. When I pick him up from school and see marker smears on his face and hands, I know he's had a good day.  More recently, he has gone to bed telling me about some idea he has, only for me to find him at the crack of dawn the next morning, working on that idea. Like the 'Tipe to Learn' book of last week. It was his desire to make me a look and find book and he cried his head off when there was no time to finish it before we had to run off to school.

There are literally hundreds of drawings and papers of his from just this year. They are mostly overflowing from drawers and in sloppy stacks in every room. They are also on the walls.  I honestly have not hung up a single one! It's all Belac's doing but not every drawing has been worthy of going up on a wall, mind you. It is with interest that I notice what Belac chooses to hang. My heart melted the other day when I accidentally discovered all of what was plastered on the back of his door. When his door is closed, he can see all of those drawings while laying in bed.  I find it deeply touching that he's been decorating his room and love that he has his favorites.

You know what's interesting to me? If he didn't draw, I'd never know that he noticed some of the finer details of things he was seeing. And his books. It is shocking to me that he is able to carry a thought - however basic -  or storyline through. There is a beginning, middle and end. This is something he just cannot accomplish verbally, in relating one spoken sentence to another to form a cohesive line of thought or even describing a static scene. Even answering the most basic questions can be difficult for him. There is so much missing verbally and his eyes are never really looking where they should be, so it's easy to just assume that he's missing out on a lot. (But more -I've come to realize - than he actually is.) Given his challenges, drawing and writing are invaluable skills of his.

Last week, I decided to write an old friend who is a gainfully employed artist. I attached a few drawings and asked him if I should be doing something to encourage him besides just applauding him from the sidelines. If he were sitting at the piano all of the time and plunking out notes, I'd give him lessons. So what was I to do with a kid whose every desire is to draw? He explained how his artist parents had encouraged him and gave me good pointers on what I could do. He made some observations about Belac's drawings I never noticed before. It was all helpful.

But what about painting? I wanted to know. Could I get him to be less concrete in the way he sees things by painting? Could I get him to be less rigid by... I don't know what, this wasn't my field. My friend forgot to answer that question. I would love to know what happens in your head when you go from drawing to painting or how differently you see things when you draw and paint the exact same thing. But as much as I wanted to continue the conversation and pick my friend's brain, I couldn't bring myself to pester him more. The thing is, Belac's not in anyone's field. He's a puzzle and I know very well that it's trial and error with him.

It remains to be seen if we can get ourselves into the awkwardly charming house. But if it happens and we have our very own place to mess up, I'm giving this kid paint!